25 Home Taught Lessons for Children – Old Jokes

Starlett, Don and Darrell Bobbitt
Starlett, Don and Darrell Bobbitt in our Dads first car.

Many kids of my generation were HOME SCHOOLED, but not in the way you might think.

Our parents grew up learning how to live during some hard times, and while raising their kids, they passed on a lot of great Lessons that we all took to heart.

I saw this list somewhere, years ago and saved it to read and enjoy later. Although I don’t know the original source, it does bring up some great memories of my childhood. Below are some of the wonderful and often hard-learned lessons that my siblings, my friends and I were taught as we grew up:

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My father taught me about LOGIC.

” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me EVEN MORE LOGIC .

“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My father taught me about IRONY.

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”

14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

“You are going to get it from your father when he gets home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me Extra Sensory Perception.

“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My father taught me HUMOR.

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”

Really though, now that I think about it, this  old list is just a sampling of the way I and my siblings were taught about the realities of LIFE by our wonderful parents.

I tried to pass these lessons to my own children. I just wonder if they will take them to heart like I have.

by DON BOBBITT, 2014

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