Me and Puxsutawney Phil

Its the first of February and the most famous groundhog in the world has made his annual appearance.

With much fanfare, he was jerked from his comfortable den ,which I guess you can call public housing. I mean, he doesn’t have a job, he has no assets of his own and he is fed and taken care of by the local government.

I don’t know a better example of the new American occupation, professional indigent.

OK, stop right there, I can just see you smiling, thinking that I am preparing to drop into one of my famous Rants.

Well, No, this is not a Rant …… per se!

You see, he does have a job, of sorts.

In order to continue to receive his lush housing and exorbitant lifestyle, he has to show up, on February 2, each year. Then, a group of ridiculous looking government officials,, wearing their formal tuxedos, with top hats, of course, give long boring speeches, and then all goes quiet.

They sit Phil down, on his lazy fat legs, and wait to see if he does one simple thing. Cast a bored glance around his surroundings.

Everyone cheers, flags wave and a big parade starts. Phil has done his job.

He goes back into his warm and comfortable, government maintained den, eating a little from his silver-plated food bowl, and waits for next year.

I can actually hear him thinking (yes I speak Groundhog) , what the Hell were they all staring at my shadow for, anyway?

Meanwhile, the crowd is partying regardless of whether there was a shadow to see or not.

So, here’s the problem. Everybody loves to read about a good scam, right? Well, I want to nominate Phil and his entourage for playing one of the best ones on the public.

I mean, really? In what world of science can the existence of a shadow, or not, on a certain day, in a small town, forecast the next 6 weeks of weather.

Oh, and one other thing, for you gamblers out there; the existence, or not, of Phil’s shadow has been wrong 39% of the time. So, place your bets for next year folks, Phil is taking his nap right now but I’m sure he will be getting into shape for hes challenge next year.

 

by Don Bobbitt, February, 2016

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Copyright, Don Bobbitt, February, 2016, All Rights Reserved. (You are free to use and share this article with others but if you wish to use it commercially, you must have permission in writing..
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