Classic, Classy and timeless INSULTS.

  Today, so many people resort to profanities to insult someone that really sharp insults using clean language is becoming a rarity.. Below is a list of very good and classic insults by famous people of our past, that obviously skewered their subject with clean but sharply combined words.\. They knew how to put someone …

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JOKE – States you can Retire to

I was cleaning up some old emails and I found this joke from a friend. It seems so TRUE that made me laugh. You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your ass from the hot water in …

Damn Cold! Kindness and patience are not virtues of a sick man.

Why am I Sad? Why am I Mad? Why do I want to just........... WELL, i've had this Cold for 3 damn days! with a nose so Red I could lead Santa's Sleigh! My lungs are so congested just breathing sounds like gravel rattling in an old tin can. And my joints don't just ache, they …

Leveling the “Funny” playing field with ethnic/religious jokes

  Hey, I was just thinking:. There is far too much censorship in our world these days, and someone sent this to me in an email. At first, I laughed and then I almost deleted it as being "too insensitive". But then I realized I was thinking this way, not out of concern for the …

JOKE – I thought I would pass this one on for your entertainment.

  Neologisms Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), …

Letterman’s TOP-10 Reasons he votes Democrat

#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd. #9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't. #8.  I vote Democrat …

JOKE – Classes for Women taught by Men. Hilarious!

OK, These are funny! I don't care who you are! (Or which Sex!) Men Teaching Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By December 29, 2015 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .   Class 1 Up in …

I was Just Thinkin! Cow JOKE.

COWS  Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are …

OLD JOKE- Joe, Cooter and Goober

 JOE, COOTER AND GOOBER... Joe died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Guber. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunt camp. …

Funeral Joke

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?" Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man." Eugene commented, "I would …

Kids, Puberty and the Parents IQ, an interesting relationship

I just have to write this.Our Kids were visiting us recently, and after we had finished our big cookout and were all just sitting around digesting our feast, I was listening to one of my daughters as she started complaining about how strange their daughter, (Yeah, my granddaughter) was becoming recently.I was surprised for a …

Old JOKE – Irish Court Case

Irish Court case The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." The Defendants friend, Paddy sitting at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge looks up and frowns at the courtroom and continues with, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law …